Wait, I’ve got it. “The Way I See It.” Too bad Temple Grandin and Melissa Sue Anderson, the actress who played Mary Ingalls on “Little House on the Prairie” snatched that one before I could.
Trying to come up with a similarly themed title is getting me nowhere. But what if I peruse the titles of my selected columns? Pick a funny one, an edgy one, a strange one?
OK, how about “I’m Not as Intelligent as I Thought”? No, that’s stating the obvious. Here’s a fairly recent one: “What’s So Special About Me? Darn Near Everything.” Kind of funny, and dripping with sarcasm. But as I’ve learned by writing a newspaper column, some readers neither understand nor appreciate sarcasm.
Now this might have possibilities: “My Wife Channels Davy Crockett.” Conjures up some interesting visuals, as long as you’re familiar with Davy Crockett.
This is beyond frustrating. I’m ready to wave the white flag, like one of my students, and call it “My Book of Newspaper Columns.”
Until suddenly, flashing like neon on the Las Vegas strip, I find “I Won’t Walk a Mile in Another Man’s Pants.” It’s funny, edgy and OK, I admit it, a little weird.
As a subtitle, I’ll add “and Other Musings on Living, Teaching and Writing.”
Wow, that took a while. But I hope, as Donald Murray once said, my title serves as a “window” into the book I wanted to write.
John Edmondson is a teacher in Hampstead.