Better than best

By College Corner
Ashley Chamberlain

May 16, 2008 09:49 am

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The role of a best friend is one of the most important in the world. Gaining that title, earning that privilege, and having that relationship is undoubtedly a gift, although it takes hard work and love to maintain. Over the years, we have all had best friends, some who have remained, some who have strayed, and others who we think are gone forever. It's funny, because life has a way of quickly turning and changing, and when we least expect it, those old friends come back into our lives — and remind us not only of what we had with them, but more importantly what we have now with others.

Bri and Danielle had always been close. Since first grade, they shared everything. From tea party birthdays and Little Mermaid books, to sixth grade dances and the junior prom, every moment was captured by pictures and memories that proved they were inseparable.

The first year of college was a big change, and when Danielle went away, met new friends and started a new chapter in her life, Bri definitely felt left out. So much so that she picked ridiculous fights and ended up shutting Danielle out completely. Slowly they drifted, eventually they had a blow out fight, and now, they don't even speak at all. Danielle still isn't exactly sure why to this day, and Bri has yet to come up with a real reason.

It took Danielle a while to be able to call other girls her best friends. She never understood how Bri could just drop her like that, and it really hurt her. To be honest, she still struggles with it, but she couldn't stop her split from Bri no matter how hard she tried. As time went on, her college roommates became her best friends, people who cared about her and loved her, knew her better than they knew themselves, and treated her the way she deserved. But, it's a small world, and even though all that is left of their friendship is the memories, the past caught up with them both last week.

It was awkward for everyone at the restaurant table when we looked up and saw Bri walking in. She was with her new group of friends, and Danielle was surrounded by the rest of us. None of us really knew what to do or expect, because Danielle and Bri hadn't spoken in about a year, never mind actually come face to face with each other.

"Do I say hello?" Danielle asked us. "Or do I not? This is silly. I'm not in a fight with her, we just don't talk. I should say hi, right?"

We all agreed that she should say hi, and Meg told her to be the bigger person, step up to the plate, and make the first move. There was no reason for tension or fighting, and definitely no place for immaturity. So she did.

"Hey you," we all heard Danielle say. "I haven't seen you in forever. How are things?"

"Things are great," Bri responded. "No thanks to you."

"I didn't come over here to fight, I just wanted to say hi," Danielle said.

"Are you talking?" Bri asked.

With that, Danielle, hurt and upset turned and came back to the table, where real friends were waiting for her.

"I don't know what I expected," Danielle said.

Meg turned to her, gave her a hug, and told her she did all she could. It was a lost cause, but the only one who lost was Bri.

"There's a reason she is only part of your past," Meg told her. "She isn't good enough to be in your future. Look around at what you have here. You have a second family. She chose not to be a part of that. We chose to be. We love you, and that's forever."

With a single tear running down her face, Danielle looked around the table and it might possibly have been the first time she realized that the best friend she lost doesn't even come close to comparing to the ones she has gained. Sometimes old friends come back into our lives to help us appreciate the new friendships we have, the ones that will last.

"I love you guys too," Danielle said. "But I'm sorry. You aren't my best friends."

We all looked around, confused and a little hurt. What did she mean? It was definitely not the response we were expecting, but it did leave us all speechless.

Cracking a smile, she paused, and finished. "You're better than that."

nnn

Ashley Chamberlain, a 2005 Pinkerton Academy graduate, is a junior at UNH. She is in her fourth year as a Derry News columnist and intern.