Strewn across the kitchen table were a million papers, lots of information, a thousand price lists, and magazine clippings of a ton of dresses. Across from me sat my older cousin, who was instructing me to type name after name onto a printable guest list. As she delegated the duties, her fiancé sat at the other end of the table glancing over a wedding checklist. He looked concerned for his wallet.
Between the choices of a buffet or a formal dinner, seafood or steak, and which DJ to hire, the options seemed endless. There were so many decisions to be made in order to get the wedding plans rolling. Unfortunately, there was one main consideration that needed to be taken into account in the planning — cost.
"How many people is that?" Maria asked.
"Well, so far there are 138," I told her.
"Okay, so if we have 200 guests, than that is going to be about $4,000 for food," she paused. "That doesn't include the tents, DJ, flowers..." she trailed off.
"Or the dress," I added in.
On the top of the pile was a picture of the dress Maria had fallen in love with at first sight. From the second she saw it, she knew it was the one she wanted to walk down the aisle in.
"Or the dress," she said, looking at a calculator.
When Jesse proposed to her a little while back, our family was more than happy to welcome him in. Dependable, reliable, and helpful, Jesse is always there for everyone, especially Maria. He takes care of her and he's really good to her. Their engagement announcement was expected, but still, we were excited for them.
Ever since she was little, Maria knew she wanted a big outdoor wedding in the field next to her house. Now, those dreams are slowly starting to become reality. Everyone wants her to have the wedding she has always dreamed of, but when it comes to cost, it is hard for anyone to come up with extra cash right now, especially enough to fund such an important day. Even the simplest weddings cost a fortune.
As our eyes bulged at the large number the calculator summed up for us, my aunt entered the kitchen.
"We'll make it work," she said. "It will be a family event and we will all figure it out together. Besides, money should not be the focus of a wedding. This wedding is about the two people who are making a lifelong commitment to love and take care of each other."
Looking up at our aunt, Maria and I knew she was right. We were so preoccupied with planning and budgeting that we stopped focusing on the true importance of one of the most special days in Maria's life – the vows, loyalty, love, and unity. We were so concerned with the larger details and bigger picture of this important day that we forget to focus on what really matters – the people, memories, and promises.
A few hours later at dinner we were still talking about the guest list when Maria turned to our Aunt and asked her a very important question.
"Since this is a family event and all, will you marry us?" Maria asked. "In the old meeting house?"
My aunt remained speechless for a few seconds as she regained composure. She swallowed and took a breath. She was definitely surprised, but she's a Justice of the Peace so she can legally wed any couple. Not many people know that about her though.
"You really want me to be the one who performs the ceremony?" she asked.
"I would love for you too," Maria told her.
With a sparkle in her eyes my aunt agreed to marry them in the old town meeting house next summer. Touched and appreciative, she blinked away a few tears. It was that moment that proved what weddings are about. A wedding ceremony is about joining two lives, two hearts, and most importantly, two families into one.
Next summer our family will be joined with Jesse's family by an inseparable bond of a very special couple who loves each other very much. When the ceremony and reception are over, and the cake and food is gone, and even the music has faded, that very special bond of commitment and love will still remain, and that is what truly matters.
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Ashley Chamberlain, a 2005 Pinkerton Academy graduate, is a junior at UNH. She is in her fourth year as a Derry News columnist and intern.
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